Insomnia

It's 4:00 a.m. and I've been up since 2:00a.m.  What does a girl do when she can't sleep?  She BLOGS!

I would leave my bedroom and go make some tea or something but there's a strong chance I would wake Charlie (my Shorkie).  He sleeps with the 12 year old most nights and has bionic ears.  Should I wake him he will be up and ready to go, his soccer ball in all. 

Instead, here I sit at my desk in the nearly dark, water bottle and PJ's, pounding on this laptop as if it will magically make my crazy make sense.  Husband is up with the crazy eye mumbling something about his back and headed for the couch.  Now he's gonna wake Charlie!  Guess I know how tomorrow will be here at my house as Sunday will become national nap day. 

So I'm free surfin tonight, a little pinterest, a little... off the wall topics that just randomly pop in my head on Google and the whole time looking for new interest, new projects and definitely cool stuff that seems to evade most every website I click on.  Google hates me or I'm just overly judgmental and seem to personify Google because don't we all know, Google is the all knowing all seeing wizard of the net world.  No matter how we tire if it, it's the "Wal-Mart", of the internet and you just keep getting sucked back in.

I was thinking of checking out some time shares and vacation type getaways that I could invest in.  Something that's local enough to not need plane fare and something far away enough, I'm not in my back yard.  Being land locked here in Tennessee is major suckage at times and I can't decide if I want a cabin near a lake or condo by the beach. Choices...  I also can't decide if I wanna color my hair my signature color "chocolate", or hit the highlights again.  Sounds like a major mid-life crisis to me!  lol.   Perhaps I should do like other Soddy Daisy ladies and just learn to shoot.  Which by the way is better than in my hometown of "Chatsworth", in which I would be taking up a spit cup or pretending to like going mudding to please an overhaul wearing, sleeve rolled up tractor driving man.  No offense of course.  Obviously I'm a rebel without a cause so I need to find one. 

I heard the rain coming down pretty hard tonight which might be what originally woke me up.  My mom either butt dialed me or called, got voice mail and forgot to hang up because I listened to her convo with my Aunt Jean for 15 minutes, amazed at their giddiness like two high-school girls over such things as where to put what.  My Aunt Jean is pretty old and she knows it so forget a filter there. I secretly love the idea of every hater I have being introduced to Aunt Jean.  It's the ultimate "putting someone in their place", cause she's amazingly accurate with the reality of bull-S- - -!  If they met her, I would seem like as harmless as puppy dog.   My mom is the quiet sneaky type who is big hearted but don't ask her a question cause your more than likely gonna get more than one opinion, and people "she aint budging!"  Gotta love the ladies in my family they are amazing!!!!! 

I'm looking over at my bed now, thinking it's completely empty and stretching out sounds amazing.  Sure hope Dre is comfy on the sofa, :)  Maybe tomorrow it won't be raining and I can actually get out and about.  Ok, I'm going now... 
xoxo  - Teresa Ann

My need for Grace.

Happy Thursday. 
You should be able to tell by now that I definately have an Aries ascendant by the inconsistency of this blog, lol.  Seriously.

I want to write today.  I want to write about one area of my life that I need Grace more than anything.  I always have.  That area lies with my children.  It actually, is the only place in my life that I have stood up and determined my will along with Gods and often fell short in expectation  and deliverance.  I have felt more pain wrapped in joy surrounding these lives that have passed through me than in any single circumstance I have known.  No intimate broken hearts or failed relationships could compare to the physical pain felt run through my body caused by a single tear of one of these kids. 

I grew up with them.  I was ever so young at 18 having babies that we learned together just about everything.  From watching the same cartoons and liking the same fruity pebbles to music and rock concerts as they got older.  Everytime my oldest picked up a rock and looked at it for more than a few seconds I would get lost in his make believe world of amazement.  It was so easy for me to and I don't know why or how.  Then with my second son and man that baby could laugh.  It was utterly contagious and it was healing.  My whole outside world was dump.  There, that's the truth.  I had not dealt with a missing father, or being an unwanted child myself, much less knew how to function as a whole complete person.  So I circled myself off in the presence of these little spirits that could dream and love in a way I had never known.  When my last child Courtney came along, I had not attended to the outside world, not even yet.  I was still in that circle with only them.  This baby was wise and quiet and amazingly kind.  Why would I ever want to leave this space with them? 

When I say that I need Grace with them, what I'm really saying is I am incapable of feeling any other way but one way.  Which is probably extremely unhealthy and not even a therapist could heal or better this issue.  That way is only to protect.  It is only to go to battle against any and everyone who deliberately  imposes great pain upon them.  Understand that I am incapable of allowing them to hurt without feeling it in my own body.  If you physically abuse my sons, you are abusing me.  If you deliberately betray my daughter then you are betraying me.  It is not a show I watch go on in front of me, it is a duplication of the act within me and no one has that right.  I wish that I could look at motherhood differently because Lord knows my kids have needed me to, begged me to, and even gotten pretty upset with me for voicing my truth and defending them.  The truth is never what anyone wants to hear and there is no special time to say it that makes it go down any better...and unfortunately, there's always a price to pay for the truth.  

So give me Grace.  Understand that the people they are,  are directly linked to my life and heart.  Know that I've been fighting for each one in some way their whole lives and I don't see that ending ever.  Also know that if you are stripping them of their self worth, creativity and everything that makes them more, or their dreams.  It will send me into an oblivion.  I won't understand it, I won't know how to just allow it.  It is not within me to sit idly by.  No one said having children would be easy or watching them grow up a cake walk and I know that sometimes it's better to not be around then to feel such the urgency to right the wrong.  In my understanding of these things...Just give me Grace. 

My day at home.

Hello my loves!
I woke up this morning with the most terrible migraine headache I've ever had and decided to stay in bed.  It was a good idea considering it was pouring down rain outside as well.  Somewhere around 9:00am  I stumbled out of bed, looked in the mirror and decided I should do something with myself. So I medicated myself, got dressed and hit the road for some Starbucks. 

Upon returning home, I decided to sleep, surf the net most of the day and arrange some of the room décor I've been slowly piecing together while my head was feeling better.

 

 

A few reminders every girl needs!



 

 

So I'm not the boring girl, I'm the bling girl!

 

You can't see the name of this nail polish from the pic but it's called "Formula X" for Sephora.  I love it because it has no harmful chemicals and goes on better than any brand I've tried.  Courtney came home the other day with this dark color and I loved it.  So I have the dark for Halloween and the gold for "all the time!", lol

 

So here you go so far.  I can't seem to find a mirror to go behind my laptop, so the search continues.  Next week I will be adding my desk accessories. 

 

 

So I'm not feeling good today.  This is what I'm reading.  Someday I will have enough time to finish.

 

A better pic of the Orion's Belt nail color by Formula X.  Juliet loves to have her nails done!

 

Love this kid!

 

 

Now Dre is home from work grilling filet for me tonight.  I am tired, weak and really need to get more rest.  So yall have a good night and I will see you here soon. 

xoxo  -Teresa Ann

 

 

 

 

 

 





Bedroom Makeover Update.

Hi Yall!
     I know I'm taking a minute on my bedroom makeover, just bare with me.  Sometimes you have to allow for life to happen in the process eh?  Today I was able to work more on the room and wanted to show you my progress so far.  I have painted my room,  added my desk (which is where I will be blogging) and applied some touches here and there.

       My final bedroom piece will be ordered so I'm not sure how long that will take to get in.  It's a wall storage unit with sliding doors that will take the place of my current dresser.  My current dresser which is antique will become my dining room server so stay tuned for that.  Maybe I will have it done by Christmas, lol.  Always so many plans and so little time.  So let's make the best of it shall we?  Check out below what I was able to complete  today.  Feel free to leave comments and share your own ideas, I would love to hear them! 

    

 

 

Here are a few more things left on the list to stay tuned for. 

 

1.  Paint the ceiling bright white with glitter in the center of the tray.  I haven't decided yet on the glitter part, but I saw one and it was gorgeous so maybe.  That's actually something that was very popular in the 60's - 70's.  They had these blower machines that worked for glitter kinda like the popcorn and today you can rent them.

2.  Paint the trim.  Which I'm leaning toward a metallic either silver or gold. 

3.  New curtains that will drape longer in the floor all princess-ee like and not be sheer.  I tried to get them from Joss & Main but they were sold out.  So we will see what else I can find. 

4.  Add the wall unit on empty wall. 

Thanks everyone for checking out my blog and hanging with me as I keep chugging along in life. 
love, love love,
-Teresa Ann





DIY: Spoons, Forks and Knives.

I had a few minutes waiting for Little to be picked up,  so I decided to paint these lovely wooden utensils I bought the other day.  It's always nice to have something non-metal to grab for lunches or snacks through out the day.  You can find these at target in the party section.  They have so many new cool party supplies. 

 

 



Happy Birthday JC!

October 3rd  is my sons birthday!  Every single year on this day since his birth, I have set aside a place in my heart to honor him.  I wish you guys could really know JC because he is so funny and kind.  He and I have a deep history and a deeper future.  I love you Jon Cary and this video of pics I had on this old computer doesn't do you justice.  Have a good and loving birthday love.  I am always with you!

 

 

 

now of course, I had to post a video paying homage to 1990 the year of your birth JC.  If you can sit for the whole thing, you will be amused.  I know I sure was.   lol

 

 

 

Well, love, I hope you have a really cool birthday.  I love you, I love you, I love you! 

xoxo - mama



Recycled Art

Greetings everbody!
It's been a few since I've been able to post, my apologies.  Today I am back with an art project that I created for my new bedroom makeover.  I had this painting that did not go with the modern vibe any where in my house.  I used an old painting and made it modern and added the needed texture for my white bedroom wall.

 First you need a good primer that will cover the oil paint.  This worked perfectly!

 Cover the painting with the primer and let dry for a few.  Make sure you get the edges around the painting as well or they will show when you hang it on the wall.

 Take an old sheet or piece of fabric and rip into strips.  I used an old flannel sheet for mine.  This takes a minute but is fairly easy to do.  After you get the fabric in strips, you just rip off smaller shorter sections and hot glue to the canvas.

 My helpers....  <<<< I just had to include them >>>>>>>

 ...and we are all done!  Cant wait to see it on the wall.

Another after pic that really looks good on my white wall.  There are other pieces that I will be adding as the bedroom moves along.  Stay tuned!  

-xoxo  -Teresa Ann