Free Thinking

Back at home staring out my bedroom window at all the green that while being in the desert made me miss.  Home to family crisis as we all say our goodbyes to an elder that touched everyone in so many different ways.  I'm here finding myself remembering the full circle and the so many different ways and sides I knew of my ex-mother-in-law.  I feel like I've seen and known all her sides better than most and more than some.  Yet, I cling to the love she shared with me for my child.  If not but for that alone she is my eternal friend.  

So in this solitude and gentle wind that's bending my ear today I come to thinking upon so many things.  When my children were little I would wake them up humming while cooking and put them down to bed singing.  When they were little they would hum while coloring and sing when no one was watching.

When my children were little if I made a face, they made a face.  If I laughed, they laughed.  If my countenance changed, so did theirs.  If I asked if anyone wanted cookies, then everyone wanted cookies.  If I asked who did a bad thing, or a wrong thing or just asked in general, then no one did the thing.  So I learned....

If I spoke to them of dream chasing and creating ways of catching them.  Then I should be about my own dreaming and chasing and catching.  That their eyes fall on me in whimsical blind faith and in which turns to belief inside their hearts.  

So If I dream of flying away, then somehow, my chasing will inspire them to grow their own wings.  If I refuse to stop dreaming, stop chasing then somehow they will grow themselves a relentless courage of knowing.  Knowing that what is within them has such a purpose that only catching can conclude.   So this is my prayer for them...

I pray the one thing they take from me is courage.  Courage to go, to chase, to catch.  That they hum and sing and laugh and fall and all the while show others their active dreaming.  That you Lord, give each one their own dream, a voice, that pulls, pushes and stretches all their roads and that their roads will echo you and who you are.  That even on the shadow roads nothing is truly ever taken that isn't given back in the magical, unspoken, gentle winds of faith.  May they dance when the leaves fall, when the wind blows, when the sun sinks into the night and may they hear you whisper that you belong to them.  That you created the humming, the singing, the living, the dreaming and all the roads of all things.  

I love you Lord and your promise asking my patience.  I love you for them, and this and all that is and all the catching I've yet still to do.  My children, kind, funny, hard-working, ever loving pieces of you and I Lord.  Twirling, twirling, twirling, in my heart beneath this gentle wind.  

-xoxo  Teresa Ann